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Discontented

Even if you are very introverted, you always have to deal with people. And sometimes you question what their attitude towards life is. And maybe that has something to do with the personality type too. I'm an entrepreneur and work with a variety of companies, including my assembly company. Here the relation was right from the beginning a little tense. We have agreed to the same conditions as with the previous assembly company - a flat rate percentage of the value of the goods - and we also made the schedule the same as before. But because the assemblies needed much longer, the system did not work for them, since higher costs on one side didn't lead to higher revenues on the other. That they are therefore dissatisfied, is in principle still to understand. They were used to hourly pay. What I can not understand right now is - if I now bill for an kitchen move on a hourly basis - that's what they always wanted - why are they still dissatisfied just because of complications? If additional repairs have to be made, that means nothing more than more hours (which can be easily justified) and thus more revenue. It's like asking a taxi driver in Berlin to take a passenger to Munich. The vast majority are likely to rub their hands because of the easy money. Their attitude would be comparable if the taxi driver refuses because it takes too long or is too far or too boring or whatever.

If I look from my side, then the attitude to life is probably completely different. First, I always try to have a positive outlook and not to take everything too seriously. That goes so far that I have even joked around with a root inflammation at the dentist. If I had moaned and weeped, it would not have been a tinky speck better. Perhaps it is also because I firmly believe that I can largely influence my situation myself. In other words, if things go bad, I should have done better, and I'm basically to blame myself. This is the often-mentioned self-criticism of an INTJ. If I want to improve the situation, I have it in my own hands and I just have to work harder. Of course, there are things that you do not have in your own hands, and at the ongoing construction of our new exhibition a whole lot of other people did things wrong at my expense. But what does that mean for me? Of course I can get upset about that, but it does not help. Rather, it costs extra energy, especially if it occurs frequently. But as long as the mistakes can be fixed - even if it means more effort for me - I can still live quite well with that. Of course I would rather have it different and I say that too, but I will not let that spoil my mood. (For uncorrectable errors, that's different, see the article on perfectionism and motivation).

I've been assembling a lot myself in recent months, and the norm is that it's worse and takes longer than expected. But that is not negative because it is fun to produce a certain end result and most of the time I can additionally learn something new which is also positive. If you can play around with a new tool and it is much easier than before - even more fun. The whole thing even makes me do certain things for customers that you would not normally do, because they are too expensive and at least would be too expensive for me if I had to pay for them regularlay. There was the extractor hood with the switches pushed in where I designed, printed and installed a completely new fixture. With hours payed regularly that was almost as expensive as a new device. Or the fridge where I restored the old front which took four or five hours. I actually asked the customers how much the repair was worth to them. In other cases, I only calculated half of the effort because for me the learning effect, the mastering a challenge or simply trying something once is in the foreground. That's a different thing when it becomes routine - that's where the stimulus evaporates, and then it should at least be profitable - although I can still motivate myself on the outcome.

Unfortunately, my interpersonal skills are not so famous and to get back to the original topic: I do not know what is going on in the minds of the latently dissatisfied people. I suspect that the N/S contrast plays a role, as in one case the actual situation is in the foreground and this is not always so great. In the intuitive case, the future plays a bigger role and I notice that very well for myself: Actually, I would have to be a total ourpuss, because I have to work like a berzerk (no closing time, no weekends, no vacation) and have to probably even pay for it because of the high costs (little to no profit). But that does not play any role for my attitude: I see the - in the words of the adman - fantastic exhibition and the possibilities resulting from it in the future and therefore simply overlook the now. What I would just lack are other Intuitives with which one could share this vision - and unfortunately it still looks grim for that. The ratio is never 2:1 as the usual statistics indicate. What also might matter: SJ are probably more affected than SPs. The latter are completely rooted in the now and in the experience, their senses (the famous Cologne "et ass still ever jut jegange") while the decision to be dissatisfied goes one step further and compares the now with an inaccessible ideal state.

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