I got my hands on a GeoWissen special issue on love. On the one hand, there were very interesting topics, such as the need for a fundamental similarity and understanding between the partners for working relationship. On the other hand, I'm probably doing everything wrong on my online profile, because I wrote a lot there and regularly use more than the recommended 250 characters for the primary message. On the other hand I've learned enough in recent years about personalities just to be sick of pretending to be someone else. If only because I'm terrible at it. Yes, I like reading and I am also eloquent. The typical article here has something like 6,000 characters and that's an extent that reads really well. I also read the dossiers in ZEIT and they are many times longer. Not to mention the series Tarrin Kael by Fel - this is a truly epic fantasy story with 3.5 million words. Admittedly I need a few weeks for that, then it's not going to be an afternoon anymore.
I'm still looking for other INTJ or INTP bloggers, but they are very rare and usually not permanently active. And of course I read through almost all the articles. I can only say that from my side, but I would like it very much if I get the opportunity to get in touch with someone from whom I can tell from a blog that the personality is compatible with mine, has the same mindset. And there are hardly any INTP bloggers, because they are generally too erratic to sustain such a project in the long run. Sorry, but if my way of writing scares off the normal guys, then that's just how it is and it would not work anyway.
Now it is probably still the case that women from a certain age probably look after the men's income and of course I do not write that openly. The best would be "wealthy Privatier" with a lot of money and time. This is a double-edged sword, because of course I do not want to be loved for my money. "Self-employed merchant" probably does not sound that promising, otherwise the drop-off rate would not be that high. And if I write here of my 100-hour weeks, then that's probably not so positive, too. You have to know that I do that partly because of the lack of a better opportunity. If I had the opportunity to invest time in a relationship to be rewarded with new perspectives, then I would put the company behind without batting an eye, that would be worth it.
That is my main goal: to find somebody who has a similar, compatible personality (ie INTJ, INTP or INFJ) and who is on par with me in terms of my abilities. I tried lately with a woman who wrote in her profile that her last relationships had called her dominant. No problem there. I think there's an article missing here, but I'm a sigma alpha when it comes to social function. I am a leader, but not in the classical role of the alpha animal who commands his betas around, which in turn compete with each other for the places on the ladder (there are also the omegas which don't care about their social status and happily align themselves below). As a sigma, you're the lone fighter outside the system who cares about keeping the gig running. And if that requires to take command, then you do that - without being dominant. This means that if someone else wants to have the leader job and does it right, then I will gladly let him take the lead.
The crux of the matter is probably just that this requirement (although primarily necessary as seen above) the target audience probably narrows that a lot and I probably have no luck if only because of that. What is the proportion of these three personality types among women? Together maybe three percent. How many of them are intelligent and eloquent enough to cope with such an article (given mostly blank profiles)? And how many have a sense of aesthetics (just look at the photos in the profiles)? If someone writes back on a terribly short message for my standards with one-sentence answers - that can not work out. Fortunately, I'm communicative and I'm interested in the attitudes of other people and I can also communicate information about myself freely. Without this two-way communication, no relationship can work (answer to "I've told you enough, write about yourself": "Hmm"). Am I standing on a high pedestal? I do not think so. In order to live up to this claim you just have to take a decent picture of yourself and write a few thousand characters about yourself. At my age you should have experienced enough to make that an easy task. We're not fourteen year old teenagers anymore.
Against this background all the other criteria that are so important to superficial people withdraw. Hair colour? Bust? Size? Absolutely don't matter. Weight and smoking - not quite. Since willpower is one of the criteria and one does not forfeit to an addiction and gets his desired figure with some discipline, that probably plays a role. But not necessarily: Since the most important insight from the personality types is: "you can not have everything", this means conversely that you have a discount of determination to get the spontaneity and ingenuity of an INTP, as well as the emotional ones Skills of an INFJ come at the expense of technical understanding. If you generalize that completely.
Meanwhile, I also know that especially IN women need a very long time to build a relationship with another person. I experience much the same and I am therefore happy to invest the necessary time. But that is also based on reciprocity. If you do not slow it down and let others in, it can not get that far. Unfortunately that seems to be a problem for a part of the target group. I'm just thinking of the woman from Stuttgart, who first surprised me with a spontaneous phone call and then bailed before the personal meeting. Or those from Cologne, who quit after the first date. At least I could not form an opinion so quickly.
Do I expect too much? Just to have someone - sorry, but my ability to suffer is not distinct enough. If I wanted to have sex, you can get that now at the highway parking spot. Complementing oneself on equal footing, without being a partner the dominant, opening up new perspectives to each other, mutual understanding are for me the important values within a partnership. Can I find these? Unfortunately, it does not look good, but hope is known to die last..